EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little 
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat 
dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the 
mild scolding I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by 
weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try 
this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these 
vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite 
chair, must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make 
them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their 
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. 

Hmmm, not working according to plan...

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in 
solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise 
and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due 
to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my 
advantage. 

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is 
routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a 
half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks 
with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his 
current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait - 
It is only a matter of time......